[00:00:00] Rebecca: Hello and welcome to the final episode for 2022 of the Rebecca Saunders Show. We're up to episode 58 and I am in full swing from wrapping up the year recording this one at the very end of November. Because, I'm doing something I haven't done before. Something that's been on my to-do list for a very, very long time.

[00:00:23] I say to-do list wishlist. Last list, one of those ones was to take the majority of December and January off. How cool is that? So I'm batch recording all my podcast. This is the last one of the year and I'm almost there. I think I've got two weeks of December where I'm working between shoots and the studio and home and client work and come the 16th of December 

[00:00:50] I am then off until the end of January and I absolutely cannot wait. I'm so ready for this one very much. It has been a humongous year. Lots of traveling, lots of go, go, go. Lots of family, lots of friends, lots of work. It has been a jam packed year, and so I'm ready for the break. I'm ready for the downtime, and I've talked around space, creative space, all of those things in the last couple of episodes, and, oh, gosh, it feels good to have created the space and have that time available to me in just a couple of weeks time, so I'm very excited.

[00:01:31] Today's episode, though, I actually wanna talk on and focus on avoiding the overgiving so that we avoid burnout during Christmas and the festive season because it can be really easy. I say easy lightly. It can be really easy to think. We've gotta get everything done before we stop at Christmas and we push ourselves to the absolute max and the brink of just crazy ass burnout.

[00:02:00] And then we fall into our holidays in a massive heap where, you know, a couple of weeks, if you've got a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks isn't enough to rest and rejuvenate and come back, reset and refreshed and re-energized for 2023. . And so if you are one of those people that has written a crazy, crazy, crazy long to-do list to fit in before the end of the year, look at that list, take a look at it and go, what realistically do I need to get done this side of Christmas. 

[00:02:30] What do I need to get done? What is gonna be the bee on and end all? What's gonna keep that needle moving so that the business still grows, but also if I don't do it, what's gonna happen? Right? Have a look at that. Have a think about it. And just take some of the pressure off yourself.

[00:02:46] The second thing to look at is to go, okay, and this is where the stem of today's topic of conversation comes from. Okay, I've given myself this much time off. I've given myself these holidays. How am I gonna spend that time? The festive season is full of parties, it's full of functions, it's full of family things.

[00:03:08] And you know what, the t-shirt that I bought from confetti rebels sums it up wonderfully in a sentence. I am wearing it now. So if you're watching the video version, it is all the pinks and it says, sorry I'm late. I didn't wanna come. I'll repeat that. Sorry I'm late. I didn't wanna come. Amy, the founder of Confetti Rebels is an absolute superstar and I am in love with this t-shirt so much because it resonates, right?

[00:03:35] It resonates. We get to a point at Christmas time where we feel we have to be everywhere for everybody else. What if we just flipped that? Stopped and went, what if I don't wanna do it? What's gonna happen? What if I politely say no? You know? So for me, these holidays is all about setting boundaries so that energetically I'm not over giving my time over giving my energy.

[00:04:03] I'm actually enjoying it and spending time with people that I wanna spend time with, and I'm not just saying yes to all things. And so it's one of those pieces which is kind of hard. It, it's kind of hard to do when you are in a society where it's a case of, you know, we need to almost be all things to all people.

[00:04:23] If we say no to doing things with family, you know, feuds start, argument start. All of those things. But you know what, when you start putting that out there energetically that you just want downtime this year, you just want a little bit of space, or perhaps you don't and you wanna like fill it with things.

[00:04:39] But if you want that space, set that out. Set out those intentions as to what you are wanting to create for yourself this festive season. What is gonna mean that you are going to have the best energy to put forward? How are you gonna ensure that you show up as your best self and that you have an incredibly amazing time with the friends and family that you choose to be around?

[00:05:02] So for me, I've looked at Christmas a little bit differently this year, the festive season. Those of you that will follow along on Instagram will know that I am a avid cook. I love it. I am the hostess with the mostess, and you know what? That lights my soul on fire and doesn't cause me stress. To host a dinner party, to host a house party, to host Christmas lunch does not cause me any stress whatsoever, provided I have strict control over what comes and what's on the menu, right? 

[00:05:32] So when someone says to me, can I help? Should I just bring this? The answer's most likely gonna be No. I don't want you to bring anything. I would love for you to bring yourselves, bring whatever you're drinking um, help me in the kitchen with whatever I'm preparing.

[00:05:55] Nicely, respectfully. I don't want you to bring things because that adds to the chaos in my head. That just adds chaos to my brain, adds chaos to my kitchen. It means I've doubled up on things and I hate being wasteful. So I, like this year, I've gone, you know what? We are gonna host Christmas for the first time in our brand new but old house.

[00:06:15] Uh, we've just moved into an 1856 Heritage property in Mudgee, New South Wales and we are hosting family Christmas here this year. I had to very carefully, you know, set down that this was my intention of I want you to all be involved and I want you to feel that you're taking some of the pressure off, but it's more pressure on me if different people start bringing different things. 

[00:06:37] So I'll get everything in. I'll organize it all, and then you can all help chip in, in terms of making it you know, chipping in on the spend that we've spent on food and drink for the whole few days that everyone's here. You can all chip in.

[00:06:51] I love your contributions. Just don't want you to bring physical things with you so that we have everything we need and we don't have duplicates. And I don't have, you know, a lack of space for storage of refrigerated food, uh, frozen food. Whatever it is, the refrigerator is gonna be completely full. So that's how I've really targeted Christmas, and it's the first time this time around that my husband and I are actually husband and wife.

[00:07:18] Actually, that's saying that out loud. So the first time we're doing Christmas as a married couple, and it's the first time we're doing Christmas very differently because the two of us are actually spending Christmas day lunch, actual 25th of December day lunch at a winery. We have booked ourselves in to one of the wineries in this area, and we are going for Christmas lunch with the winemaker and anyone else that's booked in, and we are gonna thoroughly enjoy doing something completely different.

[00:07:47] No stress of family, no stress of expectations, just the two of us. Fantastic food, fantastic wine meeting wonderful new people. And I'm so excited for that because then family descend on us on the evening of Christmas Day and we do a whole big family Christmas on the 26th. It meant that we didn't disrupt their traditions.

[00:08:07] We could still keep family Christmas time and as a couple, we could make our own traditions as to what we wanted for our Christmas day. And so I'm super proud of putting that forward. I'm proud of myself for putting it out there and saying, actually no, I wanna do things differently this year because I don't want the stress of chaos and lots of travel and lots of people, so I'd like to do it this way.

[00:08:33] And people bought on board, family bought on board. My husband came on board with the idea and I'm super excited about it. And so, I'm sharing the story because, just because things have been done a certain way for a certain number of years, uh, maybe you're combining families this year or you've just met a new partner and you can start to do your own traditions, but the pull from previous traditions are there.

[00:08:55] Let let that go and have a look at, you know, what is the most important thing? Is the most important thing for you, spending time with those family and friends, if it is, and maybe Christmas day isn't the right thing, put forward that you all do something in the middle of July. Do Christmas in July when it's not so stressful, with all the end of year commitments, work commitments, school parties, all the things.

[00:09:16] Think about how you can actually make time with family important at different times of the year, and not just for specifically on this time of year. That is one of the things that I love doing. I host Christmas in July every year. I've already put it in the Diaries of Friends for 2023 that actually went out a lot earlier than anticipated.

[00:09:37] Normally I send it out about May time. No, they're coming to Mudgee this time, so I've given them six months notice of the fact we're gonna do a whole weekend Christmas in July celebration, which in Australia is gonna be winter. So it gets to be for me, winter cozy fireplaces, you know, full English Christmas dinner in the middle of July.

[00:09:58] So I absolutely love it, and you can tell from the tone of my voice right now that hosting is my thing. And so that's how I ensure that I see everyone. I'm actually quite kind of cunning, but I've crafted it intentionally. I host Christmas party in Sydney every year where I put on the food and people just bring their drinks.

[00:10:19] It means that it's in people's diaries. I get to see people, the neighbors, friends, family members, if they wanna pop on in. It's more of a doors open at this time. I think I started at about six. And if we're still kicking on late into the evening, you know, if the door's open, come on in. If it's not, you've missed the party and there's no set time for people to be there.

[00:10:41] You know, there's no pressure on anyone to come, but I know that I'm opening the doors to our home and people can come and if they wanna come spend time with us for Christmas and do that celebrating then it happens. And it's just a way that I've been able to combine seeing everyone that I want to see. Spending time with people that I wanna spend time with, and do it in a way that's on my terms.

[00:11:04] You know, it's in my home, I'm opening the doors, I put the date in the diary. If people wanna come, they wanna come. I'm therefore not burdened with, not that it's necessarily a burden. I'm not mentally burdened with the number of different functions I need to go to to see all the people that I want to see, cuz I'm the person that holds the function.

[00:11:25] It's as simple as that in my mind. Not all people are like me in terms of hostess with the mostest and opening their doors to 20, 30, 40, 50 people. But that's what I love to do and it helps me just see everyone that I wanna see. And so this year I'm gonna do it in Mudgee as well. We have just moved to town. I don't know that many people, but I know a few.

[00:11:46] And I'm gonna invite our immediate neighbors, the people that I've met at wine tasting through friends at the pub, at the dog park all the people that we've met, I'm going to invite them over, have a bit of a garden bash. Soiree music, drinks, food, the whole kit and caboodle, and just get people to come together and do similar to what I do in Sydney, but in Mudgee, and I'm excited for that.

[00:12:09] For me, that then means I'm doing three things this Christmas. Not 20. Just three. I'm doing three events, one Kilara, one in Mudgee, and I'm hosting Christmas. And then my friends, I am done. And you know what the joy is of that for me is because I do it every year and I've got it into a bit of a ritual, I have a system and I have a process and I have the shopping list.

[00:12:35] I changed a few things up, but I predominantly have that shopping list and it mentally it's easy for me to do. So, you know, in terms of that burnout piece, I know I've got those three things to do and I know the rest of the time is for me to be calm, to be collected, to do whatever I wanna do. So what is it that you can do for your next few weeks?

[00:12:56] how can you give yourself breathing room in the things that you're doing? How can you ensure that you're putting things in place, that means that you energetically are showing up correctly, that you are you know, being present where you need to be. And most importantly, you are enjoying it. You're somewhere where you want to be.

[00:13:15] There is nothing worse than being at an event or function begrudgingly and being there because you feel that you have to be there. Newsflash, you don't have to do anything. You choose to do it. So what are you choosing to do this festive season to ensure that you are not gonna be over giving your energy over giving your time, and adding to the burnout that is probably tinkering right there on the edges of such a crazy, crazy couple of years.

[00:13:46] I know what I'm doing. Follow along on Instagram. I will be sharing how I do, how I prepare for all of these things, how I get on top of it. I'll be sharing the creativeness we're doing around the house over the festive season, and I cannot wait to come back to 2023 refreshed, re-energized, and just ready to go.

[00:14:07] If you are not yet on my VIP newsletter, head to rebecca saunders.com/vip to be across all of the things that are coming in 2023. The next few episodes are Recasts of the best episodes actually, that we have had and done in the last year. I'm so excited to recast three of my top episodes with Jen Hardman, Erica Cramer, and Anna Richards.

[00:14:33] They're coming your way. Oh, those conversations energized me so much and I'm so excited to reshare those having a little bit of break across Christmas because, you know, like I said, don't need to do all the things that you normally do. Take some time, do what you need to do. So a little break, a few recasts and I will be back with you, recording live podcasts with some amazing guests and solo episodes back in January.

[00:14:57] Have an incredible festive season. Enjoy the time, be creative, and most importantly, look after you, your friends, and your family.